On August 3rd, 2010 my best friend, my partner for life, my husband, the father of my children passed away. He died, in his sleep, of a heart attack at the young age of 47. The autopsy showed that he probably would have had a massive heart attack in the near future had he not died that day. I thank the Lord that he died in his sleep and didn't suffer the pain and fear that can accompany impending death.
Well, it's almost been one year and I'm still going. During the many years before his passing, I often wondered what it would be like if something ever happened to him. Would I be able to go on? How would I handle it? How would the kids be? What would life be like without him? It's not that I wanted to find out, its just that I couldn't ever have pictured my life without him. Never!
So, here I sit, a widow at the age of 53. Someplace I never thought I'd be. So, am I able to go on? Yes. How am I handling it? Somedays good, some days not so good. How are the kids doing? Better than I expected, yet I feel like they're probably not telling me everything so as not to put pressure on me. What is life without him? Quiet, sad, lonely, boring.
So, how could I possibly have any good news? Well, I do. The good news is that I will see him again, in heaven. He was a Christian that had received Jesus Christ as his Lord & Savior. He didn't earn his way into heaven. He didn't rack up points for the good deeds he did while on this earth. He accepted Jesus into his heart and tried, every day, to live his life like Jesus.
Did he accomplish that? Well, the trying he accomplished. Did he become perfect, like Jesus? Not until the moment that he met him face-to-face. So why did he try? Because that's what Jesus asks us to do. With the Holy Spirit in us, we try to conform to the image of God until the day that Jesus Christ returns. That is our lifelong ambition.
Death, for those of us left on earth, is such a tragic event. But, know that just because you may be a Christian, does not mean that you can not grieve. Grieving does not mean that you don't put your faith in Christ. It's when the grieving overtakes you and you wallow in your despair that it becomes a sin. If you turn to God's Word (the Bible), it will show you what to do to pull yourself out of the muck and mire of depression and grief.
Psalm 119:28
My soul weeps because of grief; Strengthen me according to Your word.
My soul weeps because of grief; Strengthen me according to Your word.
Psalm 42:11
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.
Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God.
Psalm 62:2
He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken
He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be shaken
Psalm 37:39
But the salvation of the righteous is from the LORD; He is their strength in time of trouble.
But the salvation of the righteous is from the LORD; He is their strength in time of trouble.
If you do not know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, I ask you to read the following passages. They will help you understand that you can not earn your way into heaven. It is a free gift, from God, shown by your faith not your works!
Acts 4:12
And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved.
And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved.
Romans 10:9-11
that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; 10 for with the heart a person believes,[b]resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, [c]resulting in salvation. 11For the Scripture says, “WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE [d]DISAPPOINTED.”
Ephesians 2:8-10
For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; 9 not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.
John 14:6
Jesus *said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.
Jesus *said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.
As someone who is walking through the darkness and despair of losing a loved one, I can tell you that I know how hard it is. I know how sad some days can be. I know how lonely the house can seem. I know that the tears will fall without a seconds notice.
But, as someone who is walking with Jesus, I know that you are not alone when you know Him as your Lord & Savior. I know that being in His Word (reading the Bible) can bring you comfort like you've never known. I know that everything that God allows to happen, happens for His glory and for His purposes. I know that while it really doesn't "get easier with time" that with Jesus, we are able to handle those moments of sadness much easier.
I hope these little tidbits will help you in some way. I know it may sound cliche, but remember JESUS LOVES YOU!
God bless you as you Love Your Life Again!
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